The Akatsuki and Me
by merrawolf
Summary: The Akatsuki run into problems as a new girl arrives, wrecking havoc. Yet more chaos arises when a mysterious visitor comes. What will they do against these strange, new menaces?


Day One:

"Tobi's back!"

The cheerful call echoed through the gloomy walls of the Akatsuki's base. A strange-looking guy jumped around the place, officially annoying Deidara who was molding some clay.

"Stop it, Tobi." His partner snapped. "Why can't you be serious for once?"

"But Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cheerfully answered. "And Tobi brought a friend…"

"You what?!" Deidara jumped up, his eyes ablaze. "What do you mean by that?"

"Actually, she followed Tobi here. Tobi thinks that-"

Deidara cut him off. "Screw it Tobi! I'm assigning you a new cause of death!"

Tobi clapped his hands together. "What's it going to be, Deidara-sempai?" He seemed to enjoy teasing his partner. "Tobi's gonna die from explosions again?"

"No," Deidara drew up to his full height, looking all ominous in the dim light. "It's going to be death by-"

The rest was cut off by a loud explosion. Itachi walked past the two, muttering something under his breath. A tiny girl, no more than ten, followed him. Left, right, left, right…

"Stop following me." Itachi ordered the girl. She only shrugged. She was a rather strange sight: Her black hair was all messy and her penetrating green eyes drilled into Itachi's brown ones.

"Kisame's stuck in the dryer again." She muttered. "Zetsu stuffed him in there…"

Itachi abandoned the girl to rescue his partner. The girl watched Deidara chased Tobi on the ceiling.

"Don't hurt Tobi, Deidara-sempai! Tobi is a-"

"Screw the good boy act! Come over here!"

"Whaa! Whaa! Amy-sama! Tell Deidara-sempai to stop!"

Amy shrugged and continued watching, a slight smirk on her face.

At last Deidara gave up on the chase and flopped onto a sofa, arms crossed. Tobi cautiously came down, worried that Deidara would attack him again. His partner stayed on the sofa, glaring at the girl.

"Who's she?" Deidara demanded.

Tobi was more than happy to answer. "She calls herself 'Amy Brown', Deidara-sempai. She said she came from some place called 'Ah-merry-ka', in the country called the 'Yoo-knighted-states-of-Ah-merry-ka', in the 'state' called 'Ka-li-four-nee-ah'."

"Where the heck is that?" Deidara grumbled.

Tobi scratched his head. "Amy-sama says it's the birthplace of the comic 'Peanuts' and the restaurant 'McDonalds'."

"McDonalds?"

"You know, Deidara-sempai, the place with that tall, smiling, red, yellow, and white clown guy."

At that moment Kisame walked into the room, his hair slightly poofed up from being in the dryer.

"…I still don't get it." Deidara sighed.

"Well…" Tobi dragged a rather confuse Kisame over. "He's about as tall as Kisame-kun and has the same hair…"

Kisame shrugged off Tobi's grip and left, muttering, "Even though I have no clue what's going on, I feel like I've been insulted."

Down the hall, Pein was arguing with Zetsu. "Why the hell did you put Kisame into the dryer?"

"He was annoying…"

"We all-"

"He insulted me. He called me an ivy. Do I look like an ivy to you?"

The argument went on as Itachi turned on the T.V. and kicked back. He turned the volume up and popped some popcorn into his mouth. Kisame sat next to Itachi, his small eyes focused on the monitor. Amy sat in front of them. Her hand reached for the remote instinctively. Before Itachi could react, Amy snatched the remote and began to flip through the channels.

"You–stop that!" Kisame growled. He yanked the remote back and switched it back to 'Jaws'.

_Dun dun…_The famous music began playing. Amy saw a shadow in the hallway, running toward them. _Dun dunn…_Closer and closer…_Dun dun, dun dun, dun dun dun!_

"Tobi loves popcorn!" Tobi shouted as he jumped…and landed on the T.V., breaking it.

"Tobi!" Kisame growled. Normally he would've appreciated Tobi's humor, but the newest member of the Akatsuki had taken it too far.

"Don't hurt me, Kisame-kun!" Tobi screamed as Kisame chased after Tobi, his giant sword raised. "I was just kidding!"

Deidara had finally found a quiet place (Aka: Outside in the back) to mold his creations and was busy testing out a new sculpture. "Mmm…" Deidara stepped back, admiring his masterpiece. It was a rather small sculpture and was shaped like a salamander. "Let's try it out." He formed his hands into the hand symbols and the sculpture enlarged. It was taller than Deidara and was almost as long as the entire field. "Let's see…mmm…" Deidara went into deep thought. "Let's see…where's a good place I can blow this up in? Mmm…"

"Deidara-sempai!"

Deidara jumped at the sound of Tobi's voice. Great, what did he want now? "What is it?" Deidara grumpily answered and climbed on top of his sculpture. Almost instantly he was tackled by Tobi and was knocked to the ground. Kisame was right behind him and swung his sword. Fortunately, it missed Tobi. Unfortunately, it hit Deidara's sculpture. The sheer force of the swing and the chakra surrounding it blew the clay apart, scattering pieces of clay everywhere.

Deidara stared at what used to be his sculpture and glared at Kisame. Kisame shrugged. "What? You always said the beauty of the art was the explosion…"

Before Deidara could respond, a loud _crash_ came from the headquarters, followed by a faint scream. "What the heck is going on in there?" Deidara muttered and slowly walked toward the door leading back in. Tobi and Kisame trailed behind, weapons ready.

"Deidara-sempai, maybe I should open it?" Tobi had dropped his third-person speech. Deidara shrugged.

"Be careful though." Deidara warned. Tobi nodded and yanked open the door…and gasped.

Kisame stood there, dumbstruck. Deidara rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

"Whoa! What are you doing here?!" Tobi shouted.


End file.
